6.20.2006

係咪FRIEND先?

一聽見有人問我「係咪friend先?」,我就知道大事不妙,呢句說話同用把刀指住你條頸一樣,除非你唔怕死,否則你乜都要應承!
「借五千銀黎丫!」
「我成到身家都係得咁多,點借晒俾你呀!?」
「嘩~~~我又無話唔還,你咁都唔幫手,係咪friend先?」
終於我俾佢問左好多次,每次五千,唔覺唔覺佢都爭我幾萬銀
「喂!呢排手緊,還番d錢黎先丫!」
「唔係麻?!你手緊?!你點用錢架?!我有就還左俾你啦!你咁都追,係咪friend先?!」
你咁都講得出,其實你有當過我係friend嗎?
男人得兩樣野會反面,錢銀同女人;我從來唔會同朋友因爭女而反面,因為d女一定係揀我朋友,至於錢呢方面,我借得俾人,就預左收唔番。「無左d錢!都好過無左個朋友!」,所以唔駛再問我「係咪FIREND先?」
有好多人求人做野,心知事情會麻煩到人,但又逼不得意要對方幫手,就會以友情掛帥,但心知大家友情有限,就會好心虛,先聲奪人「咁都唔幫?!係咪friend先?!」我試過答「唔係!」,對方即刻七情上面,數盡多年來在我背後如何支持我,暗中幫忙我,仲因為我食個七隻死貓,其中兩隻係摺耳,頂過十六隻鑊,總全部都係易潔鑊,無整污漕件衫!有時由於要求果樣東西太難,佢會再講誇d,直情講到原來幫我捱過兩刀,同埋捐過一邊腎俾我!講到咁,都係問「喂!幫我班xxx演唱會飛丫!」
報應!真係報應!我曾經都是一個成日搵人幫買演唱會飛的人,成日以為d做唱片公司,實好易買到飛,五年前做左商台之後,我知道買演唱會飛係好煩的事!
首先!買飛果個,當然想指定日子,最靚位,睇完先俾錢!但真相是你訂飛要先俾錢,無得揀日子,d位未必一定靚!你覺得先入錢無保障,同一樣錢但無得揀位唔公平,去到發現個位唔靚,番黎同我投訴,關我咩事呀!阿媽教落無錯,做乜都好唔好做「雞仔媒人」,所以為減小煩惱,原則上你叫我買飛,我都會話我無辦法,「咁都無辦法?!係咪FRIEND先?!」「唔好意思,不如我地絕交啦!」
今次軟硬「long time no see!」我已經訂左四十幾張飛,d「朋友」而家先續係浮面叫幫手訂,我估計仲有排加落去,其實我想過唔好理,訂一百張,我知到時實有人要,但唔該睇番上面條款,係要先入錢,大拿拿四萬銀,我真係唔捨得!
我知大家心裡面想什麼,「點解唔買一百張呀!我想要呀!」
如果你心裡面講過呢句說話,請scroll up再睇過我講乜!如果睇完個心仲係講「咁係丫麻,做咩唔要一百張飛呀!我真係想要呀!」
「喂!我唔幫人買飛架!你仲問?!係咪FRIEND先!?」

26 comments:

學生妹_維園阿伯 said...

灘叔~你有數不完的"偉論"~

arbig said...

識你就好啦...有得幫買軟硬飛...我係英國班唔到啊...我好鐘意軟硬gar...

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious said...

Out偉論

gRACE said...

哈...哈...我仲諗住問你有冇"long time no see"既tickets tim~

原來你係一個對住朋友唔識say no既人~

求其 said...

uncle灘~ just found out ur blog and came to drop by a HELLO! awww... i wanna watch "long time no see" too~!!!!.. too bad.. i don't get to go back HK this summer T.T

anyway... i'll visit ur blog more often~... btw... I suppor the orange nation~~~... GO HOLLAND!

candy said...

我都係好憎借錢俾人嫁...借左又唔還..
仲要係越來就借越多...

米 said...

我都成日比 friend 問哩句.. =-=
真係好似做左佢隻寵物咁..
佢話東就東..
我又唔想冇左個 friend ,,
又只好照做..

vv said...

想番香港時睇軟硬
不過有錢都未必有ticket~.~

山姐 said...

5幫人買就不如

向節目到送飛飛na...



=w = meow~

小忌廉 said...

鄒七仔點呀?

Tony said...

海灘,
係咪FRIEND先?!

菜肉包 said...

我覺得男仔會疏爽d, 女仔就唔會亂借錢比人, 至少我唔會啦~~

我想知你講嗰間診所嘅地址呀~ 我都驚隻龜有d咩事唔知搵邊個求救好~

你隻龜冇事吖嘛?

Christie said...

(⌒_⌒)

今晚節目就訪問7仔吧

hedy~* said...

7仔點牙~~睇完e生好返未牙~~~~?

  今晚1定要講7仔牙~~~

ps~~海灘~~~政府都有教d小朋友say no~~~

       你都要識「say no牙~~~」

cC said...

打左成日電話都打唔通, 好勁囉!!!
真係氣死我丫~

雲雲 said...

海灘海灘~~ 雲雲呀!
我sent 過email比你..比左獸醫info比你果個呢~
點啊... 7仔有冇事呀?!
可以既話post 下7仔既近照睇下丫!! :)

瑪姬 said...

喂講真, 我都好想睇軟硬, 係咪friend先??????? ^^

瑪姬 said...

喂講真, 我都好想睇軟硬, 係咪friend先???? ^^

Anonymous said...

Unclebeach~~~我覺得你同老馮日記嘅其中一集真喺有誰共鳴囖,不過佢就陰功過你喇,講幫阿媽老友個女買Aaron嘅演唱會,點知條友無比錢不特止,仲屈佢用幾倍價錢肯翻張飛,你已經好好彩。雖然你無睇《老馮》乜滯,不過我信你睇左會有共鳴嘅!

學生妹_維園阿伯 said...

多謝你一開波既提及,
之但係情況無改善,
不過今次鄙視我既係一個OL,
仲有我落車行番home果陣,
無情情聽到有radio 既雙重聲,
原來係樓下等客既的士阿叔開到個radio 勁大聲,
我仲睇到佢口嗡嗡,
你地果陣估緊阿田果d長篇"IQ" 題~
真係有好多人聽你地ga,
你地既影響力真係唔細~

gRACE said...

海灘, 憑著我不屈不撓的毅力...我買到long time no see既tickets!!yeah!

P.tea said...

本來只係你聽眾,而家真係好想同你做friend,
不如我而家同開始你做friend呀......
咁我聽日就可以問你係咪FRIEND先?!
唔使打電話啦,我打左成日都未通呀!!!

小彤 said...

WA* 太感動啦 >3<
我今日去O左CR等 .. 見到塊牌,
勁想衝入去搬走佢 ..
但係連影我都影唔到,
點知一上O黎就見到 *
我愛你阿 >333<

軟硬,唔係我年代。
但係一樣為佢地而瘋狂。
太正啦* 希望到公開發售買到啦…
睇完波即去排應該得掛 (?)

仲有45 分鐘 英格蘭V.S 瑞典。

raymond said...

I really hate it when I try to ask for my money back from friends. They usually make it seem like I am being an asshole for asking for MY MONEY back. Man, how could people think like that? I am already doing them a favor lending them money in the first place.

I hate these people.

四妹 said...

我都係甘話﹐講錢傷感情﹗借出去0既野就預左唔洗要返﹗我最唔鐘意我一個老死﹐自己非常大頭蝦﹐借我野會唔記得還﹐我又唔鐘意追人﹐經常不了了之﹐但係偏偏拒係個斤斤計較0既人﹗有時都幾慶﹐但算啦﹐鬼叫我0地係老死咩﹗都唔明點解拒自己遲道好耐又好似無咩事0甘﹐我遲道就好似好大件事﹗真係唔明﹗

Rick said...

Dear Unkle Beach,

This is a little late, but I too find the oscars retarded. Maybe with your voice you can point out the HUGE hole in The Departed's script, which is when one of the bad guys called DiCaprio and told him the wrong address (314 instead of 340), the other 4 people in the car must also have heard that. Oscar's best adapted screenplay, editing, film and director go to a movie with such a BIG hole is nothing but retarded.