8.15.2006

拒絕成長



「成長」像坐過山車,過程好似好漫長,但轉眼間發現自己已長大,驚魂甫定,回望去,卻無法憶述過程!營營役役的日子裡,跟本無時間研究自己的成己狀態,但每當有問題要面對,如果你唔夠冷靜,亂發脾氣,問題沒有解決,更會換來一句「你仲係好細路!」 近年我已經鮮有俾人這樣說,別以為是自己長大了,只是人家連講呢句都慳番!
但當另一種情況發生,我就會坐埋一邊check下自己個成長狀態!呢種情況就係身邊一d比我年輕的人結婚,轉頭話埋我知個仔下個月出世!
人生係咪一定要結婚生仔先代表「成長」?從前我常常抱怨「點解我唔可以成世都係小朋友?!」,但現在我常常撫心自問「點解我做小朋友的時間咁長?!」我認同結婚生仔係人生其中一個成長的表現,因為婚姻與養育是一個大難題,肯去面對問題,絕對係成長及成熟的表現!但我現階段認為成長是,當你懂面對每一個問題的同時,心境仍然可以保持年輕!
保持年輕但慈想成熟是另一個好好玩的題目,我而家要得到的是「佢平時係成個大細路咁架!不過一做野就兩個人!」 呢d野講好易,但可以令人講,需要的時間,心機,勞力付出,比後生時去玩更要氣力!但都係果句,唔係難就唔做!
「怔服一個自己恐懼的環境,比轉路離開為之漂亮」 李碧華小姐名言

很多人拒絕成長,如果你一生志願只希望係小朋友階段,你跟本不會意識要面對成長的問題,但大份拒絕成長的人面對的最大問題是,其實係當發現自己無法面對成長而面對的問題,而悲天憫人,仰天長嘆「點解我要做大人,點解我唔可以永遠係小朋友!」
老友,你除左思想外,其他所有都係大人行為啦!拒絕成長其實係大人扮細路,一d都唔cute!仲幾嘔心!試想想唔係小bb ALLS 睇報紙,而係大人拿著支奶飲!如果你咁都覺得cute,你應該好接受到以前d港產片,黃百鳴扮嬰兒係架BB車飲奶的片段! 真係恭喜晒,咁都頂得住,你仲唔係一個大人,我當時睇完驚左成個星期,驚過睇「閃靈」

15 comments:

傑士 said...

Growing up is painful. Especially when you are growing up all by yourself. I am lucky in a way that I have a nice family, but my parents never helped me to grow up. They seldom taught me anything about handling my future. That was indeed very painful for me...

Yeah we all want to be children forever, to be protected, to be shielded from all the realities. But, that is very unreal, and very childish. I mean seriously, we have to face the reality. Our lives are too short, really too short... Accept the reality, fight with the reality and enjoy whatever the consequence!

I enjoy your show every day! I am now living in Netherlands. Jordan here! Take care. All the best.

Anonymous said...

我而家十幾歲已經想拒絕成長啦...都唔知點算好...唔通我而家既思想仲係個細路...??當我細個我好想成長但到左大個又想變番做細路..做人真係矛盾!

Anonymous said...

不想長大的人可以想想﹕當你既“少年輕狂”行為已經傷害到人﹐而你都係想堅持做細路既話﹐go ahead﹐你完全發揮自私的精粹。

Anonymous said...

「佢平時係成個大細路咁架!不過一做野就兩個人!」 我都係咁架!!不過冇人發覺之麻...haha!!

追求我所追求的 said...

逃避問題比面對問題痛苦
拒絕成長比願意成長痛苦
成長是經歷
心境年青是活力

Anonymous said...

近幾年, 身邊有很多同學、學長、朋友結婚。
雙雙對對, 不過廿多歲。

在他們眼中, 我仍是個小孩子, 未曾經歷戀愛, 不明何謂承諾。

然而, 他們卻忘了在成長路上, 我所面對所體會的困難比他們過之而無不及。

婚姻, 只是里程碑, 並非衡量成熟程度的指標。

Anonymous said...

海灘哥哥:
你好啊!我係大陸人.不過我都係你哋[她他她]忠實聽衆!聽咗你哋節目都有大半年啦!我覺得你有時講啲道理好有[力],好有說服力!舉嘅例又好真實...等!總之就掂啦!
我哋可唔可以做個朋友吖??
我嘅MSN:BiHuiHong_040719@hotmail.com
好希望可以同你做到朋友啦!
聽衆:細輝

Maggie said...

世上有太多拒絕成長的人, 而男人佔大多數(請原諒我的偏見, 或許我遇過太多拒絕成長的男人). 他們渴望成長, 但又怕面對成長當中所要面對的問題, 害怕負責任, 所以索性不去想, 一味逃避, 等待忽然有天不得不成長時, 才草草地解決那些必須面對的問題, 然後才悔恨當初做得不夠好.
有感而發是因為這就是分手原因.
唉. 他只想等待將來的到臨, 而我卻希望創造將來. 沒法子.

Anonymous said...

成長是一個痛苦漫長﹐卻又很有滿足感的一個過程﹗
在沒有成長前的階段很痛苦﹐身邊的人總是一直說﹐你很細路仔﹐你大個架啦﹐成熟0的啦﹗又或者被人話﹐呀﹐思想上細路仔﹐但已經24﹗當時很痛苦﹐亦很絕望﹐很想趕上別人﹐卻站在原地沒法前進﹗

我搬去這城市已經六個月了﹐雖然我還是不夠成熟﹐但在這公司工作的五個月﹐讓我成長了許多﹗

灘叔講得0岩﹐我希望自己永遠保持那開朗性格﹐但處事時成熟﹐內涵留在心裡﹗不過﹐這樣很難很辛苦﹗尤其是一個貪靚的女人﹗LOL

過路人 said...

不想長大是因為過去的比現在好...
懷念小時候的街頭小食...
懷念小時候過年的氣氛...
懷念小時候的無拘無束...
懷念小時候講o野係百無禁忌o既!!!哈哈哈

而家...已經唔知係乜o野世界...
連巴士阿叔都可以做頭條o既...
請不要看不起我不想長大(面對現實)

Anonymous said...

海灘,又一篇我非常有共鳴的文章。
人生可做的事何其多。
點解一定要隨波逐流做大圍嘢,點解唔可以由心出發地走自己想走的路,點解要將別人的評論變成自己的枷鎖。
"See perfection as a standard and imperfection as unique, singular, original. See it as definition of you-the one and only you." by Isabella Rosselini

AL said...

海灘叔.
其實係咪每一個人都需要有成熟既表現先會得到其他人的認同同讚許?
雖然我都好經常將老餅同成熟作為等號
但畢竟現實是殘酷,社會會令到人止步
咁做細路去睇呢個世界會唔會好d.
話人係老餅唔係因為佢地年紀老,係因為佢地已經適應同識地係呢個社會度生存.
當然有人可以work hard play hard,但係果種境界唔係人人都得!

我覺得..如果個社會唔係咁功利同適者生存,成長同變得成熟會容易好多..當然同時我亦知道我呢個係一個好天真既唸法

PS.我好鍾意聽她他她架..keep it up!

Anonymous said...

I think some people just refuse to grow up b/c when you're young, there's no pressure/worries. u get to do whatever u want & there's always someone creating a path/shielding u from all the dangers. maybe for some people, it's a great idea b/c they don't need to face new problems. when u mentioned '很多人拒絕成長,如果你一生志願只希望係小朋友階段' it reminded me of Wacko Jacko, which was actually a frightening image. haha..

i don't think growing up is that painful, depends on which angle u view it as. of course who wish to grow old, but we all have to face the fact & it's reality. however, if u realize, the actions of refusing to grow up puts a ton of pressure/worries on the people around u & that's just a stupid act. (no offense)

for sure there are obstacles/challenges throughout our lives, but those are the things that make us become mature/stronger.

Anonymous said...

「成長」像坐過山車,過程好似好漫長,但轉眼間發現自己已長大,驚魂甫定,回望去,卻無法憶述過程!

睇到呢段,好有感觸,我今年25.5歲:p,但已經記不起好多事......
例如:曾經愛得要生要死既愛情...與過世既父親相處既點滴...讀過的書...睇過的戲...但我並不是刻意遺忘,而是真的忘記,
究竟點解呢...人是否這樣善忘/良薄呢?

Anonymous said...

好有共鳴的一篇文章,我唔識講d乜去表達而家的心情,不過多謝你。