11.07.2008

易叻唇


LADY first
女人聽見必跳制的說話
「妳好煩!」

無論對方真係有幾煩,都唔可以話佢煩,一講你有排煩!

「妳肥左呀?」

不要以為用其他說法如 「妳好似渾圓左喎... 」、「呢排心情好飽滿左... 」、「妳件衫縮水呀?」、「不如一齊去做運動羅?」... 就可以無事,點講對方都會癲左咁反問你「我肥左呀?!」,到時仲難答!女人點會唔知自己肥左丫,基本上女人一生都覺得自己處於肥的態度。

「妳病呀?」
問中無獎,但隨時對方只不過是無化妝,咁你就神槍手射魚絲,斷到正一正!如果真係覺得佢病,買藥買粥買問侯咭去照料佢,唔行動齋問,咪俾對方鬧死「你隻死人眼見唔到我病到面青口唇白咩?!仲要問!?」

「阿xx點會好似妳咁!」

無論xx是EX,是人家女友,朋友... 總之一比較,而對方是差的那方,你講之前就要CALL定黑箱車,因為你講完就會即死!

「妳仲蠢過XX!」
同好的比較而變差已經難受,同差的比而變成差上差,簡直是頂級侮辱,講之前唔駛CALL定黑箱車,因為一定死無全屍

仲有冇,放上來研究投下票

到男人,什麼說話一聽見就癲

「你好冇用呀?!咁都唔識!」
單對單講,還可以頂得住,如果在大庭廣眾下,或當住親朋友戚友面前咁講,同大聲話佢「佢陽具好細架!」的傷害性差不多!


「你會同我結婚嗎?」
會就一早同妳講左啦,但又唔可以直接答「梗係唔會!」又要諗點答,又怕承諾,亂講又驚妳變雷曼苦主,「煩!煩!煩!」

「你有野可唔可以講出黎!」
講到就講左啦!已經唔開心,仲要重覆講多次唔開心d野,就係為左俾妳知,但妳又多解決唔到!不如妳靜靜地陪係身邊支持我好過啦!

「人地xx就會好似你咁!」
呢句說話是男女平等的,總之一比較而輸,就涉及尊嚴受損,人就一定會失措!

「我同xx跌落水,你救邊個先?」

無論xx是親人,朋友,球隊,寵物,遊戲槭..... 心裡面都一定係唔會救妳先,因為妳問呢條咁煩問題,已經撻著對方,仲點會講大話(tum)妳開心!

仲有冇,放上來研究投下票

13 comments:

j said...

「你同xx出街,仲咩吾同我講?你同佢係吾係有野?」
男女合用,最多餘、最煩既問題。同你講,你又吾信冇野,吾同你講,又會懷疑。絕對係裝人彈弓既問題。

「其實你仲係吾係處?」
女問男,答乜都死,答吾係處會話你污糟,仲要翻你舊帳,有排吾駛運動;答係處自己個關又過吾到,乜我表現好差咩。男問女,問呢條,比講分手,喊得仲快。不如自己估好過,但係香港性教育咁好,大部份男仔會覺得呢個問題會比x-file既case更謎。

pvc said...

hahaha...women are the most sensitive species in the universe...whatever excuse men use or however men wanna make up that..they (men) dies hard anyway :p

Conbawa said...

做乜唔聽我電話?

shirley said...

阿邊個(靚女/型仔)啲!

獨臂 said...

係佢肥左既時候同佢講:「我瘦左!」
應該都要call白車...

Judes said...

'Do this dress suit me?'
One of the ultimate no win questions.

Anonymous said...

「我一早就話咗唔好咁做,而家你咪自己攞嚟衰!」

薯頭 said...

灘叔!真係有一本書出左講exactly你呢d!
大概叫"情侶不應說的43句話"...好鬼準架死野~~~

Michelle said...

does my butt look big in this(dress/suit etc etc)?

Anonymous said...

人吔呀邊個邊個買咗隻X卡介指/LV/Tiffany送比佢,o車都唔靚嘅。
cou's吃不到時葡萄是酸的關係,假設係老媽/愛侶咁講,即係暗示對方自己都想要;唉。。答佢又死唔答佢又死!

Anonymous said...

" 你覺得...我有咩缺點?"

~Alfie

Kate said...

"你有無野呃緊我?"
答有就自爆,答無佢又唔信

Chi-Wai said...

Haha, excellent!

Reading this makes me glad I'm single.

On most cases these are traps! No way you can survive no matter how you answer, all you can do is pray their phone rings and forget to ask the question again!

My personal worst was (after arguement "If you care about me, why aren't you crying?" I was only 16 then and didn't know how to react, don't think I would ever know.